


When You Can't Go Back, the Only Option is to Keep Moving Forward

by Tsunoba



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But apparently my definition of therapy is "Make everyone as miserable as you are", F/F, Gen, I wrote this for therapy purposes, I'm trying to keep Max and Chloe's relationship vague, It worked though, Mark Jefferson is a creepy bastard, Max loses her powers exactly when she needs them, This is the most depressing thing I've ever written, Wow the title is kind of long isn't it?, You'd think I'd write happier things in that case, and I hated getting into his head to write his dialogue, so that you can choose whether you see them as friends or lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5483153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsunoba/pseuds/Tsunoba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"My powers might not last, Chloe."</p><p>They don't. Every time Max rewinds, an alternate universe is created where Max didn't rewind because she no longer could.</p><p>A series of ficlets dealing with the immediate consequences of Max losing her powers exactly when she needed them the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monday

**Author's Note:**

> I'm only including rewinds that the game forces you to do. However, I am doing _every_ mandatory rewind. If I forget one, feel free to remind me.
> 
> Sometimes I'll skip the immediate "oh no my powers don't work" reaction. Other times I'll keep it. It depends on what I feel works best for the scene.
> 
>  **Author's note now that I've finished:** I'm not particularly fond of some of the earlier stories, so I may go back and edit them in the future. Or I might leave them the same because I'm super lazy. I'm pleased with the final chapter, though, so if I ever do go back and edit this, that will probably stay the same. Anyway, thanks for checking this out.

**Beginning**

Nathan turned around as Max screamed out. "Oh, shit," he muttered, putting his head in his hands. Max watched the blue-haired girl bleed on the floor as Nathan started pacing back and forth, as if he didn't even see Max.

Suddenly, the door opened. Max had never thought she would be glad to see David Madsen, but it seemed witnessing a murder had changed things.

David glanced at the girl on the ground, and turned to Nathan. Then David stopped, and turned his head back to the girl, more slowly. "Oh, God, Chloe..."

Chloe? No. No. It couldn't be Chloe. Max refused to believe that. It had to be someone else with the same name. But the girl's face looked a little too much like her friend's. And her voice had been...

Max stood there dumbly as David tackled Nathan. If only she could have stopped this.

\---

**Camera**

Max stared sadly at the broken camera on the ground. Perhaps it _was_ just a dream. That had to be it. People couldn't really rewind time.

After class ended, Max talked to Mr. Jefferson about her contest entry and then went back to her dorm to relax.

For the rest of her life, she would regret not checking to see if the dream had been real.

\---

**Louis Daguerre**

That...made no sense. She _just_ rewound time to fix her camera. She watched it get...unbroken? Fixed? Whatever. The point was that it should be broken, and it wasn't, so she clearly wasn't imagining the rewind.

So why couldn't she rewind and answer Mr. Jefferson's question correctly?

Oh well. She got through her talk with him after class as quickly as possible, thinking about how to save the girl. With her powers gone, she'd only get once chance at it.

As she left the classroom, Max saw a small fire extinguisher on the floor near one of the lockers. She grabbed it and put it in her bag, ignoring the odd looks she was probably getting from Taylor and Courtney, and ran to the bathroom. _Maybe I can use it to knock Nathan out_ , she thought as she opened the bathroom door. _Or...I dunno, knock out the glass for the fire alarm?_

She wasn't sure what she'd do with it. All she knew was that she would do whatever she could to save that girl.

\---

**John Lennon**

Max stood off to the side while Victoria started talking to Mr. Jefferson again, trying to figure out why she couldn't rewind. She had literally _just_ done it! Did she have a limited amount of rewinds? Did she use up the final one just to answer a question in class? She could have saved it for so many more important things, like...

_Oh, shit!_

Max had spent way more time than she meant to trying to figure out where her powers went.

She left the classroom, ran down the hall, and opened the bathroom door. Nathan was already there.

\---

**Hammer**

Max spotted a handle under the cart. _That was it!_ She moved the cart while Nathan and the girl argued. Just as she picked it up, she heard the gunshot. _No!_

Max raised her hand. Nothing. She looked at it, and raised it again. Nathan cursed in the background, but nothing else happened.

Whatever freak occurrence had happened earlier was gone. If it had just lasted a little bit longer, maybe she could have helped the girl.

She heard the bathroom door open, and looked around the corner to see David Madsen...

\---

**Paint**

Eventually, Max had to accept the fact that the rewind power must have given to her just so she could save the girl. It was a shame, because she probably could have used it to get past Victoria somehow.

She sent Warren a text to let him know his flash drive would have to wait, and then asked if he was available to talk. She needed to confide in someone about her brief stint as a superhero, and he was probably the only one who would believe her. Or at least, not make fun of her.

She had just left the dorm area when Nathan found her.

\---

**Tools**

And now the tools were stuck under the toolboxes. Fantastic. Well, it was a good thing she didn't tell Chloe about her powers. She'd definitely never believe Max now that the powers had inexplicably disappeared.

She sighed and went back upstairs. Maybe Chloe had something she could use to reach the tools.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically, you can hit the fire alarm in one try when you save Chloe, but there's so little room for error that I don't think Max would be able to do it on her own. Since that rewind also serves as a tutorial regarding the whole "any items you pick up rewind with you" mechanic, I decided to assume it was meant to be mandatory.
> 
> On a side note, I'm not entirely pleased with some of these, but I feel like skipping a moment that's hard to write about is cheating. Hopefully, I'll be able to find a way to improve them in the future.


	2. Tuesday

**Soda**

Shit. Now she had to get Kate a new book. But Kate said she needed the book for notes...Maybe Brooke would have a copy she could borrow for Kate?

This would be so much easier if her powers had lasted longer than a day.

\---

**Pockets**

Max memorized as much as she could about the items, and then held out her hand. Nothing.

"So, now what?" Chloe asked, oblivious to Max's troubles.

Max held out her hand again. Still nothing.

"I don't know what happened, Chloe. I didn't know what was in your pockets because I hadn't rewound yet, and now I can't do it."

Chloe frowned and looked out the window. "It's fine," she said. "Just another disappointment to go along with the rest of my shitty life."

Max put her hands on the table. "I didn't _lie_ , Chloe. I just...I don't know why I can't do it anymore."

"Whatever, Max."

Max held up her hand to try just one more time. She had to make Chloe believe her. She couldn't stand seeing her best friend so angry and disappointed.

Chloe looked back at Max. "Look," she said, "don't worry about it. You still saved my life. We had that weird snow yesterday, right?"

Max put her hand down and nodded.

Chloe shrugged. "Well, maybe yesterday was just some kind of off day for the universe, and now that everything's fixed, you can't rewind time anymore. There's probably a lot of other people out there who also lost some sudden superpowers."

Max refrained from mentioning the fact that she had been able to do it earlier today. Chloe believed her, and she wasn't going to say something that might change that.

\---

**Prediction**

"I don't understand," Max said. "I was going to rewind and tell you all the stuff that just happened, and I can't do it. I did it a minute ago. You know there's no way I could have guessed the stuff in your pockets." She bit her lip. Chloe seemed so temperamental these days, and Max wasn't sure if her best friend would believe her even with the pocket thing.

Chloe folded her arms and leaned back, looking out the window. "Damn, man. I had a lot of plans for your superpower."

Max looked down at the table.

"But hey," Chloe said, "you saved my life while you did have the powers, and now I can make plans for just you, instead."

Max looked up to see Chloe smiling at her.

\---

**Fire Pit**

Chloe turned her head at the scream. "Max? You okay?"

No reply.

"Max?" she called again as she ran to the train tracks. She was pretty sure the scream had come from that direction. "Talk to me, Max! Where are you?" she shouted.

"Chloe?" It was quiet, but it was enough to lead Chloe to her friend.

She cursed when she saw Max pinned down by some old junk. She started moving things, trying to free her. "Do you think you can move or rewind or something?" she asked.

"Hard to breathe," came Max's voice. "Can't con...concentrate."

"Save your energy then," said Chloe, as she continued moving things.

"Can't feel...arm."

"Don't worry, Max," she said, trying to keep her voice calm. "You'll be fine. It's my turn to save you."

\---

**Refrigerator**

"Sorry," said Max. "I could only find four bottles."

Chloe frowned as she took them. "Huh. Could've sworn there were at least five."

"Well, I found one more, but it broke."

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't rewind to unbreak it? Come on, Max, you're smarter than that."

Max shrugged. "I tried. Nothing happened. Maybe I overused my powers?"

Chloe looked at Max, and then looked at the bottles she had set up. Finally, she sighed. "Well, if your powers aren't working, I guess we don't really need the bottles. Come on, I've got some other shit to show you."

Max protested as Chloe grabbed her hand and pulled her along. "Really? After all the time it took to find them, we're not even gonna use them?"

\---

**Aim Right**

"Look, I'm trying, okay? It's not working."

\---

**Slightly Above**

"You said I was on target, Max."

"Because I needed to see you shoot first."

"Then rewind and tell me to aim up."

"What do think I've been trying to do?"

\---

**Train**

Max tried to avoid looking at the train tracks. What was the whole point of giving her the power to save her best friend if that power was just going to disappear when her friend needed help again? What kind of cruel god (gods?) would do that?

At least getting shot was a normal death. The body was left mostly intact. This was...

Max shook her head as she felt the tears come again. What was she going to tell Joyce?

One of the police officers came over to ask what happened. She'd already talked about it three times. Did they think she _wanted_ to remember her best friend's last moments?

Max stayed silent. Eventually, he took the hint and left. She knew he'd come back soon, but she was still grateful for the solitude.

Maybe the power wasn't meant to save Chloe. Maybe it was just meant to give her one last day of happiness.

Max couldn't help but think that if she were in Chloe's place, she still would have preferred being killed by Nathan.

\---

**Jump**

The worst part was that she blamed Chloe.

Max knew it wasn't fair. Neither of them could have known something like this would happen. Neither of them knew her powers could just completely disappear from overuse. And Max didn't have to listen to her and play with the bottles and the gun. Max could have said no.

But it had all been Chloe's idea.

Max's phone went off. It was a text from Chloe.

[You okay? I overheard David telling my mom what happened.]

She turned her phone off.

\---

**Fall**

It was worse the second time.

Max had only been able to move forward a couple of steps. That was all she had to do, was rewind, move forward while she could, rewind again, move forward again, rinse and repeat. But it wasn't enough.

She was only able to rewind that single time. All she had been able to do was watch Kate fall, watch her go back up, and then fall again. Like some kind of horrible human yo-yo.

She felt slightly sick at the thought.

Warren was sitting next to Max when the ambulance arrived. He offered a hug. She still wasn't sure how she felt about his obvious crush on her, but she leaned into it anyway.

She heard him swallow thickly and do that weird crying hiccup thing, and realized that he had offered the hug for the same reason she had accepted it.

They both needed the reassurance of another human being, and the warmth of a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much like saving Chloe in the bathroom, you can also save Chloe on the train tracks without rewinding, but it requires some precise timing. In fact, Max's journal has her asking what would have happened if she hadn't had her rewind, implying that you're supposed to have used it. So I treated it as a mandatory rewind.


	3. Wednesday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section of this chapter uses some CSS, so if you have work skins hidden by default, please click the "Show Creator's Style" button above.
> 
> (If too many people dislike it, I can get rid of the style. It just seemed like a fun thing to do.)

**Sneaking Out**

where the fuq r u girl?

10/08 11:54 pm

not cool to be out here alone

10/08 11:56 pm

answer now or I freak

10/08 11:58 pm

We have a problem.

10/08 11:58 pm

I can't rewind anymore.

10/08 11:59 pm

u stopped time  
that probably wore u out

10/09 12:01 am

ur powrs will prolly be back in the morning

10/09 12:01 am

we can talk later  
you still have to meet me

10/09 12:02 am

Also, Principal Wells is sitting on his steps, and I can't get past him.

10/09 12:03 am

I'm gonna have to go around the Tobanga statue or something.

10/09 12:04 am

u serious?

10/09 12:05 am

fine  
I'll try to meet u halfway

10/09 12:06 am

see u soon

10/09 12:06 am

(^_^) Thanks!

10/09 12:07 am

yw but NO EMOJI

10/09 12:09 am

\---

**Pipe Bomb**

Max held her head in her hands while she waited for Officer Berry to get finished talking to Chloe. Her parents were going to _kill_ her. And her scholarship was probably going to disappear, too.

There hadn't even been any kind of warning when her powers disappeared. No headache, no nosebleed, no exhaustion, nothing. At least those would have clued her into the fact that maybe she shouldn't risk using an explosion to get into the room.

Would Warren get in trouble? The police had confiscated her phone. They'd have to get past the lock screen, of course, but they had tools for that. They'd see the conversation eventually. They'd know he had helped her. Would they believe her if she told them he had no idea what he was helping her with?

The door opened, and Chloe came out in handcuffs, followed by Officer Stuart. Officer Berry gestured to Max, and she followed him in.

\---

**Keys**

"Give me my keys, now!"

This was _not_ the time for her powers to stop working!

"Is there a problem, you two?"

Max turned around. Officer Berry had stood up to look at Max and Frank. Everyone else was watching, too. Max could see Nathan turned around in his seat, smirking.

Max blushed. "I...I was just messing around," she mumbled. She threw the keys back at Frank and headed to the exit. Officer Berry caught her by the shoulder.

"A bit of advice," he said, quietly. "Try not to piss off drug dealers. They aren't exactly the most reasonable people."

Max nodded and looked down at the floor. Satisfied she had gotten the message, the cop released her, and she left the diner.

Max tried rewinding again once she got outside, but to no avail. She supposed it wasn't the _worst_ possible time to lose her powers, but it was still pretty inconvenient. Hopefully Chloe wouldn't be too mad at her.

\---

**Photo**

Max shook her head and put the picture down. She must have been tired out from her adventure last night. It would have been nice if she could rewind back that far.

But William was dead. He had been dead for five years, and she just wasn't able to go back that far.

\---

**William**

If only she had remembered more about that day, she could have stopped William. Maybe she could have hidden the keys or unplugged the phone or something.

What was the point in being able to go back five years if she wasn't able to change anything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named Officer Stuart after Eric Morgan Stuart, who is the (unconfirmed) voice actor of the black cop according to the [Dontnod wiki](http://dontnodentertainment.wikia.com/wiki/Cop).


	4. Thursday

**Morphine**

It served her right. It really did.

Max had just wanted to save a life, but all she had done was fuck up someone else's. It was like Chloe was the universe's chew toy or something.

Max couldn't even imagine what it must be like to be in a situation where she would be willing to ask someone else to kill her. And yet, because she just couldn't leave the past alone, she had put Chloe in that exact situation.

And now she was stuck in this world without her powers.

Knowing she deserved it didn't make her feel any better.

\---

**Padlock**

Max pulled Chloe up, and then climbed up with her to the top platform. Chloe untied the rope, and they both walked toward the ledge. Max looked down.

"Chloe, I really think this is a terrible idea," she said.

"Do you have a better one?"

Max thought for a moment, and then sighed and shook her head. "Maybe we could wrap our hands in something to prevent rope burn?"

Chloe nodded and handed Max the rope before taking her jacket off. After finished wrapping up their hands, she asked, "Anything else?"

"No," said Max. She bit her lip. "I still think it's a bad idea. I can't rewind if we get hurt."

Chloe smiled. "Chill, Spider-Max. We just need to swing on the rope. Ready?"

Max nodded. "On three?"

"On three."

Max took one more deep breath. "One, two, three!"

They jumped. Max heard the sound of creaking metal as the padlock strained against their combined weight. She kept her eyes closed, waiting for the sound of the padlock snapping off.

It never came.

Max opened her eyes as Chloe cursed, and they started sliding down.

"Now what?" asked Chloe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but there's not much I can do about it, considering the restrictions I've given myself. But we'll have chapter 5 to make up for it. That should be fun. For certain definitions of "fun."


	5. Friday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how I said I was only doing mandatory rewinds? Well, I have an extra one here. But this is _my_ therapy fanfic, and if it makes me feel better to write this one extra drabble, I'm going to do it.

**Waking Up**

Max tried. She tried again and again and again and again. She tried focusing on the photo, she tried rewinding. Nothing worked.

There was nothing she could but wait.

\---

**Helpless**

Max felt like she was going to throw up.

It was bad enough that she couldn't do anything except wait. But for her powers to stop working only after she had gone back in that first photo?

This was worse. She had felt hopeful when she had found a photo she could use to go back. But all it did was make her experience Jefferson's creepy lecturing with a clear mind and a drugged body. She could still feel his ( _impersonal, methodical, gloved_ ) touch all over her ( _hands, ankles, shoulders_ ) from when he posed her.

And then her hopes were ripped away when she couldn't go back again in a better picture. The only thing she could do was wait for him to come back and take more photographs.

Max wasn't sure if knowing what Jefferson had planned was better or worse than not knowing.

\---

**Journal**

Her time in the past had run out before she could get Jefferson's attention. Not that it would have made a difference; without her powers, she didn't have any need for the journal.

She tried rewinding once she was back in the present, but nothing happened. It seemed her powers were gone for good.

Her journal was also gone. Did he take it? Did he _read_ it? Would he believe it?

No. No, if he had believed it, he would have taped her hands down. He would have made sure there were no photographs within reach.

She supposed it didn't matter anymore.

\---

**Droste Effect**

She could rewind inside of the photos, but she couldn't go back in time through a second photo? Why would some of her powers work, but not others? That wasn't fair.

Not that _anything_ about this was fair.

\---

**Gallery**

People kept telling her how lucky she was to have been in San Francisco at the time. She knew they were happy she was alive, but none of them understood just how horrible it was. Even the few who acted like they understood her suffering would throw around phrases like "survivor's guilt" when they thought she wasn't listening.

Principal Wells was one of the few who seemed to understand. He had attended the funeral of every single student who had died, and Max wasn't sure how he had managed to hold it together. She could barely stand to attend the funerals for few students she knew.

Kate was another source of comfort. After Jefferson's arrest had revealed the truth about what had happened to her, her family had taken her out of the city for the rest of the week so that she could recover without reporters constantly asking her to relive everything.

Sometimes Max wanted to tell Kate about what happened. She was the only one that Max thought might believe her. _The only that's still alive, anyway_ , Max corrected herself. Chloe had believed her. Warren might have believed her if she had had the chance to tell him.

She wanted to tell Kate, but she could never work up the courage.

The worst part was the fact that she still got flashbacks to Jefferson's "Dark Room." She knew enough about PTSD to understand what was going on, but she didn't know how to get help. There was no way to tell someone what was wrong without sounding crazy.

Max was all alone.

\---

**Interruption**

Her relief at David's sudden appearance was short-lived.

She didn't understand. She just needed to go back a few seconds and warn him. But it wasn't working. _It wasn't working!_ Why weren't her powers working? Why?

Max sat there, wondering what had happened.

She didn't have to wonder for very long.

\---

**Always Take the Shot**

Max watched in horror as David's body fell onto the couch, and then stared at the gun, waiting for Jefferson to turn it on her. He saw her looking and smiled.

"Don't worry, Max," he said. "If I had wanted to shoot you, I would have done it already."

His words did little to calm her nerves.

"You've been such a wonderful subject, after all," he continued. He set down the gun and picked up the syringe. "I'd hate to leave any...lasting marks on someone who looks so beautiful through the camera lens." He walked over to her. "Besides, I already told you that it wouldn't hurt."

Aside from the prick of the needle, he was right. She fought to keep her eyes open, but it got harder and harder. Darkness closed in, and she felt herself drifting.

"It's alright, Max," came his voice. "It's just like going to sleep. You'll be with your friend soon enough."

She never replied.

\---

**Flame**

Max stood and watched the diner burn, trying to process what was in front of her.

The diner was gone.

Warren was dead.

Joyce was dead.

Chloe was dead.

And she had no way to go back and save any of them.

She refused to believe it. She wasn't trying hard enough. She held out her hand. If she kept it up long enough, it would work.

The tornado blew some debris toward her.

She never saw it coming.

\---

**Cause and Effect**

"I don't...I don't understand."

"What?" Warren asked.

"I can't...," Max trailed off, and then looked at her hand. She held it up. "I don't understand. I rewound five minutes ago when I stopped the diner from blowing up."

"The diner blew up?"

Max didn't hear him. "I stopped it. I have powers. I've rewound so many times. I don't understand why I can't do it now."

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to look at Warren. "Warren," she said, trying not to cry. "I wasn't lying. I swear I can do this. I almost had it, and it just snapped away. I just need to concentrate more."

He grabbed the photo and guided her into the storeroom. "Max," he said quietly. "I think you might already have done it."

Max stared for a moment. "No, Warren. I haven't. I wouldn't be here if I had."

Warren shook his head. "Max, have you ever heard of the many-worlds interpretation?"

"Warren, what does this have to do--"

He finally met her eyes. "It comes up sometimes in stories that involve time travel. The short version is that when someone goes back in time to change something, the change only affects an alternate universe. The world they left behind stays exactly the same."

Max started shaking. She had to be misunderstanding. "What are you saying?"

Warren looked away again. "You can't go back because you already have. Some other version of you is going to fix things, but this version of you is stuck here. You can't change it."

She shook her head. "But I've rewound _so many times_. I've saved Chloe, I've saved myself, I changed so many things!" Her voice rose in volume. "Are you saying I've been leaving behind all these different 'me's that couldn't change anything? Are you saying I've watched Chloe _die_ and did nothing about it? That I let myself die? There's some version of me that didn't even _try_ to save Kate?"

Warren stayed silent.

"And I just have to live with the knowledge that Chloe's going to stay dead here," she continued, her voice cracking, "while some other version of me gets to fix this and keep Chloe alive?"

Warren hugged her. "I'm sorry, Max," he said.

Max cried into his shirt.

\---

**Sacrifice**

Max looked at the picture, trying again and again to focus.

"Max?"

She didn't answer, and kept focusing. Gradually, she realized what had happened. "Chloe," she said, "I think the universe made a decision for us."

"What do you mean?" Chloe asked hesitantly.

Max held up her hand. Nothing. Absolutely nothing changed. "I can't go back. I can't rewind."

"Like, at all?"

Max shook her head. "Nothing. It's like I kept telling you, Chloe. My powers didn't last."

Chloe grabbed her hand as they turned toward Arcadia Bay, watching the destruction. "It's okay," she said. "We will. Forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I absolutely refuse to sacrifice Chloe. Ever. I've watched it, of course, via collectible mode. I start crying the moment I hit the button, and I turn into a sobbing mess before the end. I can't comprehend how this is the majority choice.
> 
> But I couldn't resist the opportunity for that final line (even though it's probably a huge cliché). And as much as I was looking forward to writing _Cause and Effect_ ~~because I'm a horrible person~~ , I just could not bring myself to end the story on that.
> 
> Incidentally, the Droste effect is when a picture appears inside of itself. Even if it doesn't quite fit due to the photos being different, I couldn't resist using it to refer to Max's photo-rewind-within-a-photo-rewind thing.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking with me. I think this is the first time I've ever finished a story with multiple chapters.


End file.
